Sigh

[alex_beecroft]

Am I going off the Age of Sail altogether?  Or is it just 'Secrets' which isn't very interesting?  I can't really tell.  Trying to write a big battle between a bomb ketch which has already used up all its bombs, and a xebec, while escalating some sexual tension between her Captain and Lieutenant shouldn't be this difficult, surely?  I just don't seem to have had any enthusiasm for it since I got back from the holidays, and I'm fully convinced that it shows in the writing.

Comments

[mrs-norrington.livejournal.com]

I've been there. If it's really not going well take a break and evaluate. Going back to it a little bit later might bring back the enthusiasm, or if you're lucky, something will inspire a fresh burst of creativity.

Of course, you're good enough that I'm sure it's excellent, and this is just the inner critic talking. ;)

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I think that I probably need to rewatch M&C and CotBP, and also everything Damian O'Hare's ever done, just to rekindle the enthusiasm. But I did manage 1,124 words eventually, even if they were mostly descriptions of the coast of Sardinia. It'll pick up once they get to Mahon, I hope!

Thanks for the reassurance! I needed it :)

[mrs-norrington.livejournal.com]

No matter if it was, "He went to a bar. He did this. He did that," you've got a little more to work from. ;)

And since I've never been to Sardinia, the more description the better I'll see it in my mind.

I personally think I need to burn my textbooks and then sleep for a week before getting up enough enthusiasm for original stuff...Which of course I won't do. *g* I'll look for another solution as I do wish to graduate with my bachelors and burning my books wouldn't help. LOL

I'm thinking of getting a copy of that writer's market book. If I can get a better idea on who wants what, I may get better inspiration for writing marketable stuff...in theory.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I admit that if I do force myself to write something, I'm always glad that I have. Even if the description of Sardinia is in there in order to stave off the moment when I have to think up a way that a ketch containing 80 men can fight off a xebec with 300. I probably shouldn't have got myself in that position in the first place!

Heh, yes, failing your degree for the sake of your art doesn't sound like a good idea. Get the degree first and then you can concentrate on your writing career.

Do you know of the market_finder comm? That often puts up places which are looking for short stories.

[mrs-norrington.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've joined that, but the ones they put up are ones that in no way could I write for. The writer's market has a website, but you have to subribe to it. It's not a bad fee, so eventually I'd like to do it at least for a month so I can see more info about publishers for novels and stuff like that.

And if I recall the places on it have been researched and are reliable...I think.

More for the sake of my sanity...but yeah, that would be a bad thing. ;) Though the burning of the textbooks would be awfully cathartic...lol

[hms-dauntless.livejournal.com]

I think it's just one of those physiologic downs al writers have. Did you try to take a break from writing Secrets and from the whole LJ Age of Sail fandom-thing, and just re-read your fav M&C book and re-watch your fav AoS films? I'm sure the enthusiasm will come back once you remember what it was that you liked in the first place. :)

BTW, writing a big battle between a bomb ketch and a xebec while building some sexual tension seems to me a VERY difficult thing to do, were it only for the unpoetic names of the ships ! ;)

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Yes, I suppose so :) It doesn't help that I'm terribly tired at the moment and really all I want to do is sleep. But I watched Foyle's War again and yet again went 'OMG he's the most peculiar looking man, but so cute!' at Damian, which helped. And I did force myself to write 1,124 words, so at least it's not a total write off. My main problem is that now that John has been changed to look like the fellow in the icon, there doesn't seem to be a lot of chemistry between him and Alfie any more.

[hms-dauntless.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can understand that feeling the duty to write a certain number of words per day, summed up to the psychologic pressure of writing something that *must* be as good or even better than Captain's Surrender is taking its toll on you. Take care the anxiety of having to equal and surpass yourself do not destroy your pleasure of writing !

Captain's Surrender was - and well deservedly - a success because you loved it, loved writing every word of it, and cared more for the characters and their story and for the pleasure of writing itsef than for what readers could want.
If this is not how you currently feel with Secrets, then take a break, relax, forget all the rules and the abstract theories about what the readers want, and then start again thinking only of what *you* like and want from that story. Readers actually do not know what they like and want. A person who likes apples pie ends with being disgusted by it if it's given only and always apple pie, and always cooked according to the same recipe. As it's a chef's pride to make us eat and appreciate food we usually do not eat, so it's the writer's job to make readers look at something they've never looked at before and find it interesting. :)

Well, I suppose that if you like the fellow, it's only matter of time for Alfie to find him likeable too. But if you realize the story is actually based on how you first imagined the character, if changing this affects your interest in them, then I'm persuaded you should follow your first inspiration.

Is it really so important to give the readers an over-detailed descriptions of how the characters look ? Hair and eyes are interesting details but sure enough they are not the keystone of the character and even less of their relationship.

When I write of my muses, I write them as I see them in my mind, not as they actually look. And I'm sure that, with different names and removing the references to hair and eyes, no one outside the fandom would see anymore the link with the real life actors. :)

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I think you're quite right, and my forcing myself to do a certain number of words a day - and in particular, my forcing myself to strictly keep to the plot outline - was making writing the story feel less like a voyage of discovery and more like the writing of a report, where you had to include a number of things and there was no room for imagination. I tried forgetting the outline after I wrote this post, and I enjoyed myself more, writing about John's horrible floral dressing gown and the crabs who live under the ship.

I also brainstormed with my family about how to defeat the xebec (my daughter thinks they should shoot a load of trained attack lobsters out of the cannon, so that the lobsters can cut through the rigging on the other ship. My husband preferred the idea of sending beavers across to gnaw the xebec's masts down). Which provided much amusement! But I think I have a plan for that now. I think just allowing myself the time I need to think of the things I need to think of helps. (For example, I need to spend more time allowing John and Alfie to fall in love, which means yet more scenes which are not in the outline :) )

I am working hard on making Alfie and John more themselves, and less either a copy of James and Andrew or Peter and Josh. It does help me to do that if I can picture them differently in my mind, though it took a while before I'd fully adjusted to the change. I'm starting to see them as quite distinct people now, which is exciting because I don't know much about them and I want to get to know them - and that's progress too in terms of making me interested again.

Thanks ever so much for your email! It helped enormously! I will reply to that properly tomorrow, but it really cheered me up, and as you can hear, I feel raring to go again now. Thank you!

[wulfila.livejournal.com]

You should probably try to find out if it is really your AoS enthusiasm which is lacking right now or if you are just unenthusiastic (maybe tired and/or stressed?) in general. In either case, according yourself a break of some days might be good, either to find some inspiration (or, if none is forthcoming, to decide what you would like to write instead) or to relax a bit. I often find writing difficult when life in general seems like a bit too much, no matter how dearly I love the subject matter.

But of course, it might also be that your AoS phase is just ending and will be replaced by something else. You seem to have had very different phases fanfic-wise as well, so I would not be surprised if, at different times, different things inspired your original fiction.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I think I'm just generally tired and unenthusiastic about anything - apart from sleep. Mind you, even sleep is something I would like to do but can't quite manage :)

I don't have any enthusiasm for the 18th Century at present, but I don't have any enthusiasm for anything else either - which is not fun.

I do tend to have phases where I love something immoderately and then go off it within a couple of years and never want to hear about it again. But it seems a little early for me to go off the 18th Century - given that I usually get five years worth of writing from a subject. So it's probably just tiredness and the knowledge that I *have to* do it because it's *work*. Also I am terribly dependant on feedback to keep my enthusiasm up, and that's difficult with original fic.

I think I just need a rest! I've been writing at least 750 words a day, and doing reviews and interviews and trying to promote 'Captain's Surrender', and it's all feeling very much like hard work at present.

Which reminds me that I must do a review of 'Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade' (short review: well written but depressing) at least before the day is out.

Maybe an early night will help :)

[wulfila.livejournal.com]

Also I am terribly dependant on feedback to keep my enthusiasm up, and that's difficult with original fic.

If I can help you by reading a chapter or two, just tell me so (not necessarily this evening, as I am already half asleep in front of the computer ;), but any other time, I am ready to help).

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

LOL! Thank you! That wasn't a hint, though, and I know how wearing it can be to be always reading things that you don't particularly want to, just because you feel obliged to. OTOH, I would really appreciate it if you could cast a quick eye over what I've got so far and tell me if you think it's worth carrying on with, as I can't even tell that, at the moment :)

[gryphons-lair.livejournal.com]

If you're physically exhausted, taking a day to rest-- no writing, only necessary-today chores, maybe take a gentle walk or soak in a tub, get to bed early-- may work wonders.

If it's psychological fatigue, I'd still recommend the bath and a walk in nature, as I find both highly therapeutic when I'm down.

Either way, I'm sure it's just temporary and you'll get your inspiration back soon.

As for needing feedback-- Um, was that by any chance a hint to us to offer to read some or all of this masterpiece? Because if so, I'll throw myself on that grenade with the greatest of pleasure! ;-)

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I think you're right, and what I need to do is take a day off and try to recharge a bit. I am just so tired!

There's a lot to be said for trying to do 1000 words a day, but sometimes it starts feeling as though the words are only worthwhile for their volume and not for what they actually say.

LOL! That wasn't a hint! In fact it never crossed my mind (especially the bit about it being a masterpiece ;) ) It doesn't seem right, somehow. OTOH, if you would like to look at it, I can email it to you. I'd certainly appreciate someone telling me whether it's any good or has the potential to become good with more work.

[maggiehoneybite.livejournal.com]

I think I just need a rest! I've been writing at least 750 words a day, and doing reviews and interviews and trying to promote 'Captain's Surrender', and it's all feeling very much like hard work at present.

It sounds like you really do need a rest. Why not take a week (or two) off from writing and think of it as a well-deserved vacation? You're entitled to rest on your laurels for a little while, you know.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

*g* I think I might well take Monday off and go shopping instead :) But I do want to get into a good habit of writing every day, as I think it's helpful. Heh, I've been trying to do 1,050 words a day, but maybe I'll go back to 750, as that's so much more manageable! The extra 300 words shouldn't be a lot but it does seem to make a big difference in terms of how intimidating the final total is :)
Thanks for the sympathy! That's as refreshing as actually resting, really :)

[cassiopaya.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, yes, take a break. Go shopping; splurge. Eat something decadent like "This Brownie Could Kill You!" or "Chocozuma's Revenge: Its 14 Desserts in One!"

And should you wish to post you're writing or email it to any of us ::coughcoughsmw006atcomcastdotnetcoughcough:: then I'm sure we could help with the whole positive review thing. ^_^

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Going shopping and splurging on dessert sounds good! Unfortunately we have the children's school summer fete on today, so I have to do that. You know that may be it - it's been months since I did anything just because *I* wanted to do it. It's been one thing that I had to do after another, and I reckon I need a holiday :)

LOL! I wasn't hinting, but if you would like to look at what I've done so far, I'll sent it to you. I should stop being so down on it, it *is* only a first draft, after all :)

Thanks for the support!

[elessil.livejournal.com]

*shows you pretty ship in icon*

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Which does help! Thanks! I must watch that film again. Maybe take a day off to watch AoS films and eat chocolate :) Though any excuse will do for that!

[erestor.livejournal.com]

Do anything but writing. Once you hit the blank screen of doom, the best thing is really to just forget about it for a while. From your comments I guess that your batteries are empty; recharge. Forget "I have to write suchandsuch number of words a day". The moment your creativity is pressed and forced into numbers and regulations, it will die. You're not working on an assembly line, filling tomato juice in bottles. You create worlds and characters! How can you do that if you have to do it?

So no, I don't think you've gone off the AOS. It's just not what you want and need right now. The less you force it, the quicker it will return. :)

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I think you're right. Judging from various things, I'm guessing that my book won't be out until December at the very earliest, so it's not as though I'm really pressed for time in terms of getting out a follow-up. I should probably allow myself the occasional break from the grindstone :) It's just that when I did have a deadline, and I had to get it done in a month, I found it really inspiring. But perhaps I'm paying for that now!

Heh, I do feel a bit like your icon at the moment. I shouldn't! This soon after the summer holidays I should be bursting with the frustration of not having been able to do anything over the summer. But I suppose I've been trying to promote Captain's Surrender, and getting my site together etc, so I never did get much of a holiday. Recharging sounds like a good idea! Thanks for the advice :)

How are you these days? Are you up and about now?

[erestor.livejournal.com]

Having a deadline can be very inspiring, but only if you're in the mood, well, at least that's what it's like for me. If not, a deadline is like one big "power off" button. Really, take your time. Your creativity will wave a flag as soon as it's time to write again. That's one of the beautiful things about art, it can't be forced. :)

Not up and about, unfortunately. It's up and down and mostly down, I haven't written anything beyond the edits for "Blackberry", and even that completely exhausts me. I really spend most of my time sleeping, or just - being. I've been told that's a good thing, but for a workaholic like me, it's hell. Oh well. Better times will come. :)

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm beginning to realize that I need to be able to relax and enjoy the book, rather than just trying to churn it out in a set time. If I don't let there be time for inspiration to strike, then I'll probably just deprive myself of anything that might be good about it. It's partly the fault of the fact that I have an outline, and I was trying to be too strict about following it - now that I'm allowing myself some digression - John turning up on deck in his dressing gown, describing the fauna in the weed on the bottom of the ship etc - my enthusiasm is returning.

Sleeping and just being are good! Who knows, maybe this is your body's way of telling you to ease up on the workaholism and give yourself some time to recuperate? Though that's easy for me to say! I can imagine the frustration. The Blackberry edits are wonderful, though, so you're still doing worthwhile things! And everything else will come back, as you say :)