Create your own Dan Brown Novel

[alex_beecroft]

I got this from CWIL (the Cambridge Writers of Imaginative Literature writer's group). Ever at a loss for how to generate the plot of a world best seller? This should help:

The Illuminati have kept the secret of Mary Magdalene for nearly a millennium. A troubled scientist has stumbled upon their trail. The Illuminati will stop at nothing to keep their secret, but can The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn stop *them* first?!

http://tobyinkster.co.uk/Software/dan_brown/

Comments

[wulfila.livejournal.com]

The sad thing is that these sound surprisingly authentic indeed. ;) I got a very nice one, too:

Deep in the sewers of Troy, The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn guards the dark secret of the blood line of Jesus. A Italian novelist has stumbled upon their trail while overhearing a conversation in Bethlehem. It's now a desparate race to Seville with the very fabric of space-time itself at stake.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

What's sadder is that I might actually like to read that one - as long as it wasn't written by Dan Brown, of course. If you wrote it, it would be brilliant!

[wulfila.livejournal.com]

*g* In case I ever run out of story ideas, I shall gratefully come back and write this one.

(And what is much sadder: After reading "The Da Vinci Code", I actually did wonder for some moments if I could not come up with an equally strange artwork-based theory and finally impress the world as a writer :-P).

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Well, you know I'll read it if you choose to write it. But you're probably right in thinking that it would be too well researched and cogently reasoned to actually challenge Dan Brown's popularity :)

[hms-dauntless.livejournal.com]

LOL, that's funny !

The Michaelangelo Secret [sic - I hope Michelangelo will not roll in his grave]

It's nearly the millennium. The secret of the Delphic Oracle has been guarded by The Babylonian Brotherhood for nearly a millennium. A intrepid novelist has stumbled upon their trail. It's now a desparate race to Dublin with a small MacDonalds Franchise at stake.

Not a huge fan of Mr Brown, so I'm tempted to say this blurb is better than the book he could write. *G*
But the really disquieting thing is that even here I managed to have a reference to Ireland ! Must be a dark conspiration :DDD

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I could fully support a dark consipiracy whose aim was to get references to certain red-haired Irishmen into strategic forms of media, though I'm not sure how that would help them to take over the world :) (Or even to save their McDonalds!) LOL! But I agree, some of these blurbs are better than any Dan Brown books I've ever read - more believable too, for that matter :)

[xchristabelx.livejournal.com]

They are kidding me, right?

It's nearly the millennium. Enron have kept the secret of Excalibur for twelve centiuries. A troubled civil engineer has stumbled upon their trail. It's now a desparate race around the Mediterranean and a small MacDonalds Franchise is at stake.

Note the typos in there too.

I had a good laugh, though.

Do they actually intend this generator to be serious? And let's say a writer actually used one of those... Could he ever be taken seriously...? o_O

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I'm sure it's a spoof designed to take the mickey from Dan Brown (author of The Davinci Code). But having said that, I actually think some of the set ups could be fascinating if they were written well.

Have you ever read 'Foucault's Pendulum' by Umberto Eco? That deals with similar sorts of ideas, (secret orders preserving ancient secrets with the world at stake) but the difference is that it handles them superbly. So it can be done - just not by Dan Brown :)

[hms-dauntless.livejournal.com]

Have you ever read 'Foucault's Pendulum' by Umberto Eco? That deals with similar sorts of ideas, (secret orders preserving ancient secrets with the world at stake) but the difference is that it handles them superbly. So it can be done - just not by Dan Brown :)
*G* Glad you appreciated the best Italic attitude towards ancient mysteries: give us an old parchment with a ciffered message hypothesized to be a Templarian document and it will be proved to be the washerwoman's list.
"Ma gavte la nata" may be a rough expression but it's the shortest and most effective comment I can make about The Davinci Code. :D

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Foucault's Pendulum is just genius! And the perfect rebuttal of all that insane conspiracy theory, hollow earth, ancient masters type stuff - though with an attached warning that the people who *do* believe in it can be quite dangerous, if only because it's such a triumph of anti-reason.

Heh, I was also really touched, after all the insanity and the hell-like scenes in the last chapter or so, with the way he introduced Christianity, as a mystery that is no mystery at all, because it's been plainly said out loud to people - and yet what it offers is better than any mystic ray-gun. It was a wonderful book without that, but with it, it has this sudden punch into light and air after all those pages of darkness, and it's almost a mystic experience in itself :)

[esteven]

'scuse me for butting in, but Foucault's Pendulum is one of my favourites. It always kills me to read those pages of pages passwords in reply to "Do you know the password?" That alone was inspired.
;D

[galadhir.livejournal.com]

LOL! It is great :) And full of all kinds of wit - like Dauntless, I really loved the bit where they interpreted the Rosicruician secret document as a laundry list. If you page through the Dan Brown plot generator you'll see that it has the secret organisation which Belbo made up (Templi Resurgentes Equites Synarchici) as one of the plot elements, which I thought was wonderful :)

[esteven]

there is even a Tres Handbook
available of which I love the disclaimer.
*sniggers*

Like with Patrick O'Brian (in a different field of lit) Foucault's Pendulum can be read and re-read with much enjoyment and one always finds something new. :D

[mrs-norrington.livejournal.com]

The secret of the Colonel Sanders' fourteen herbs and spices has been guarded by The Synarchists for nearly a millennium. A dying lawyer, Brian Nelson, has stumbled upon their trail. The Synarchists will stop at nothing to keep their secret, but can The Jesuits stop *them* first?!

There's nothing like the recipe behind fried chicken to create a fine suspense novel.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

LOL! I bet Colonel Sander's recipe is of more value to the world than the bloodline of Christ, though! I really doubt that divinity is passed down through the genes :)

[mrs-norrington.livejournal.com]

The DaVinci Code to me was passably entertaining. You know, light entertainment that didn't require any brain cells. And none of the revelations were that shocking as I'd guessed what would happen pages before.

It wasn't ever something I considered reading more than once.

[wulfila.livejournal.com]

I bet it will turn out that fried chicken is the only thing that can cure the vegetarian dying lawyer, which will add a very tragic dimension to the whole plot.

[mrs-norrington.livejournal.com]

Well I guess I found the plot for my next novel, and the title too: Tastes Like Chicken.

;) I'll dedicate it to you.